Title: Slow Dancing in a Burning Room (tentative title)
Author: </a></font></b></a>a_flame_within
Rating: PG
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Characters/Pairing: Uhura/Spock, Scotty/Chekov friendship, Bones/Kirk friendship
Warnings: none
Spoilers: nothing major
Summary: There's a reason the crew of the Enterprise are so close.
A/N: Really nervous about this tiny foray into such an intimidating fandom. Just a little study of the dynamics between the crew. Any factual  or grammatical mistakes are entirely my fault. Un-beta-ed.

They were told to explore, to ‘see things no human has seen before’. What they hadn’t been told is that there was a reason no human had seen these things before. There were some planets, some creatures, in the deepest part of space that humans were never meant to see. It was these things that haunted the crew of the Enterprise. There were moments when even the strongest member of the crew broke down. They clung to each other in desperation. No other human had seen or done the things they had. No other human could understand.

Spock began to initiate contact with Uhura when he saw she needed it. He would hold her tight as she slept, painfully aware of how close he had come to losing her so many times. Chekov would join Scotty in sharing a flask, passing it back and forth as he listed to the Scot ramble. Scotty needed to talk just as much as Chekov needed to listen. He needed to hear of distant times and places and imaginary equations. Anything to pretend he was still the naive Russian who had first joined Starfleet dreaming of adventure.

Kirk would wander into Bones’s quarters at random, as though they were back at Academy and it was still their room. Bones would complain and grumble but still move over and make room for his captain on the bed. Sometimes they would talk but most of the time Jim would just sleep, finally able to shake the nightmares away knowing that his best friend was there to protect him. McCoy had patched his friend up so many times he could no longer list them in his head. Every time he did his damndest to make sure that he would still be alive to flirt and laugh and be reckless and climb into his bed at night. He didn’t know what he would do if he ever failed. Jim being a pain in the ass was the only thing he needed to cope.

In the morning they would all be in position, appearing confident and eager. Kirk would sit in his captain’s chair looking as though he was born to be there. Spock would be calm and straight faced and logical to a tee. Uhura would be as competent and strong as ever. Bones would roll his eyes at them and yell when someone needed it. Chekov and Scotty would sink into their jobs with vigor each a part of the moment for every blasted second. At the end of the day, when they could no longer take it, their masks would slip and they’d cling desperately to each other. They’d cling on for dear life as they braced themselves for the darkest reaches of space, the darkest depths of themselves.

This is just a quick update to say WOOOT!! It's my 18th Birthday!!!!! AHHH!!! I'm going out to dinner tonight with friends and shopping with Hannah and I'm sooo excited to finally have a good birthday! Yay! And, in related news, I bought my prom dress yesterday and it's amazingly gorgeous. I wanna like wear it everywhere. I
ll post pictures later when I get a chance. But I have to go get ready for my family birthday brunch. I hope everyone has a good day!!

I haven't updated in awhile and this should be a post about my ten days in London or how I'm pumped to graduate or how my last semseter of high shcool is going. This should be a post about how I hate high school drama or how i am still whinng about Adam or how crazy ridiculously cold it is here. But it's not. It's a post telling you guys that I didn't get into Oxford. After the ridiculous $100 application fee, the interview in New York City, the essays, the amount of shit I have internationally mailed and faxed in the past six months it's all for nothing. It's the coldest day of the year where I am. -32 degrees farineght. Nice timing, Oxford.

Fuck...

This is me, unable to do anything but sit here and cry and wish to god it wasn't so early on a snow day so I could call someone besides my dad. Fuck.

Hello all!! I just wanted to post a really quick update. It's midnight here and I just got home from work so it'll be really short. I'll post more later. First, Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Americans! Enjoy your turkey's and please for the love of John Barrowman do not go and pick up last minute things at the grocery store. As a bagger who works tomorrow, the less people that come in, the better! Second, I have some crazy exciting news! I got accepted into University of Edinburgh!! Yay!! I'm super crazy excited! If nothing else, this means that I have an option other than the community college that would require me to drive past my high school to get to. I haven't heard back from any one else yet (READ: Oxford). I swear to god, if one more person asks me about Oxford I might have to kill them. Anyways, its been a really long day and I'm exhausted. I'm really sorry for any obnoxious typos. I'm sorta half alseep right now. Have a great day guys!!

It's been forever since I last posted. So much has happened. I've submitted my applications to all my UK colleges: Oxford Uni, Edinburgh Uni, London School of Economics and Political Science, and Richmond Uni in London. I got an interview for Oxford. It was yesterday at 2:30 in New York City. Yeah, NYC. I flew out on Monday morning and got back this afternoon. It was insane. I've never been before and I had no idea where anything was. I have a mental map of Chicago, London, Green Lake, even Canne. New York is a complete mystery to me. I'm pretty sure I wasn't there long enough 'cause it just seemed like a bigger version of Chicago. The buildings didn't seem that tall, the streets that dirty or crowded. Times Square actually made me think of Leiscter Square in London. I did love Broadway though. We saw :In the Heights" on Monday night and "August: Osage County" on Tuesday. What a contrast! "In the Heights" was so good! It was such a good show and it was easily the most hopeful show I've ever seen. "August" was the complete opposite. The set was fantastic and it had alot of funny parts while still remaining tragic as hell. There was alot of parts when I related too much though. There was a part when everyone in the house, every single person on stage, was fighting and argueing and screaming. I wanted to stand up and walk out. I don't need to pay to see that. I live it. The family was more fucked up than mine though, so that's something. It was great to be able to see two Tony winning casts.

The interview itself was yesterday afternoon. I was nervous as hell. I seriosuly was almost shaking. I signed in at the front desk and was told to wait, someone was on their way to get me. I sat down and like two minutes later I saw a very sute guy in a suit walk towards me and say my name. He introduced himself as Gareth with a British accent. Needless to say, I was no longer nervous. He was so cute! And the fact that his name was Gareth and he had a suit wiht a light pink tie almost killed my giant fangirl of a mind. On the elevator he was kind rambling. he mentioned that there might be a slight delay so the tutor (Dr. Goldman who he assured me was a very nice man and I'd be very comfortable with) could write down his notes after each interview. He said that this was good of him but did not help him with the scheduling. It was a very Ianto thing to say lol. If he'd had a Welsh accent I probably would have died. He took me upstairs and walked me over to a room where he stuck me with two and a half pages about Charles I to read in a half hour. I took two pages of notes and had plenty of time to breathe. Then Gareth ushered in a boy who looked like he was fourteen and took me up two more floors. Everything was real official-like. The doors to every floor had to be opened with a key card. He sat me down outside an office and told me that he "might be able to come pick me up afterwards." I resisted the urge to answer with a "You can pick me up any time, baby." I think Kinga is starting to wear off on me. The girl before me walked out of the office and the man inside told me it would just be a few minutes. He was probably fifty-ish wiht a nice face and a brown tweed suit. I was sitting there waiting when another very cute young man in a dress shirt and tie wlaked over and asked me what I was doing. He was accent-less but still cute. I told him and a girl in the next cubicle was teasing him for asking. She said "She's an Oxford canidate." I like that. It reminds me of History Boys. Everyone in this office had a blue coffee mug with "Oxford" printed on the side. I would've like one of those. Finally, Dr.Goldman was ready for me. I shook his hand and followed him into a huge corner office. I gave him my folder full of test results and transcripts. On Thursday I spent four hours looking for my damn AP results. And he didn't even take them! He took my transcripts and my picture and gave me everything else back. The actual interview was like no other interview I'd had before. It wasn't like he hasn't me questions and I answered. There was no "Why do you want to study this subject?" "What previous experiance do you have?" "What is your greatest accomplishment?" "Why do you want to study at Oxford?". It was all about history. We talked about the Civil War, compromise, Abe Lincoln, Charles I, modern politics. It was great. I thought I held my own. It was a helluva lot less scary then I thought it would be. Gareth wasn't there to get me, unfortunately. I had to find my way down by myself. Oh well.

I swear to God the British have been stalking me. We checked into our hotel and two British guys checked in right after us. At dinner on Monday, we sat next to a British father and son. The son was super cute and eighteen. They were actually there for his birthday. I don't know his name but I know he watches Heroes, wants to study in Scotland, doesn't like sci-fi, wants to major in economics, and was in a production of "Guys and Dolls". His father thought I talked far too fast, didn't understand the electoral college, and was a professor at Cambridge. He also grew up in Oxford. His parents were undergrads there. He's lived all over England by the way it sounded. When we asked where he was from he listed like ten cities all over England. Then when we were walking around we were followed by two British women for twenty muntes. We went to Starbucks and there were two British baristas. It was getting ridiculous. Seriously, NYC is huge! how to hell did I keep running into British people!? I'm not really complaining though lol.

That's it for now, I've got to go to bed. I have go to school for the first time all week tomorrow and I'm not excited for it.

Wow. I just had to go back and look at my last entry because I couldn't remember what  I said. That's a bit depressing. So, a recap of the last month or so:

Sarah had her birthday party. Epic games of spin the bottle ensued. Ok, maybe not epic. The first game was kind of lame (for one of the only straight people there at least). There was like nine girls and two guys. Yeah. Lots of girl kissing. Adam (the guy from relay) was there and I suddenly remembered how much I liked him. We sat next to each other on the couch andtalked a bunch. And then I went outside with Sarah, Roxy, and Kelly to talk about how much I like him. While we're outside this girl who also likes him (but has only met him like twice) apperently jumped him and they made out. Afterwards, he told her he didn't like her like that (btw, I know that sounds like bullshit but the full story is really long so just go with it). She got all pissy. He felt all awkward and went to sit out side. Iwent and sat with him and we talked for like an hour and a half about everything and anything. We have a ridiculous amount in common. It was alot of fun and I really miss connecting with someone like that. So, then we go inside and pretty much every has left. So, Sarah, Roxy, Adam, and I decide to play another game of spin the bottle. This time, I actually get to kiss a boy. Quite a bit actually. It was fun. Adam and Roxy both left at around 1 am and those of us that were left (Emmy, gay!Adam, Sarah, and I) decided to watch the Land Before Time. I forgot how much I miss that movie. It was fun. I spent the night and we went to to Ren Faire the next day. That was eh.

So, Adam and I start talking. And we haven't stopped. I haven't gone a day without talking to him since that party. I'm actually talking to him now. I had a movie night a couple weeks ago and we sat next to each other, well cuddled up next to each other thanks to the scary movies and Kelly's ridiculous need to take up the whole goddamn couch. About a week later he asked me to homecoming (I'm skipping over the drama involved with that if only because it'll take too long to explain). So, the dance is Saturday and I'm more than a bit nervous. I haven't asked him to mine yet if only because I'm secretly hoping someone will ask me. If this weekend goes well I might ask him. I dunno.

In other news, work has been ok. Sebastian is my new favorite person ever. We worked together yesterday and it didn't even feel like work. We talked the whole time. He's just so much fun. Half-way through my shift he goes. "Have you ever noticed how fast it seems to go when you're having a really good conversation with someone?" I could've hugged him. And then I had to go do overstock (which sucks) but I got off a hlaf hour early and when I went to go clock out he was also clocking out. That was exciting. I was hoping I'd see him before I left. So I saw him about to walk out and asked when he worked next and he said Friday and I kinda groaned cause Idon't work that day and he got this disappointed look on his face. So then I'm outside waiting for my ride and talking on the phone with Sarah when he walks by. Thank god I decided to wait to tell her about him! He walks by and waves and whispers "Bye!" as he walked by. I heart him so much. Mike has disappeared (which is upsetting) but I still have fun. I haven't seen Jason in a bit either. I've worked with this guy Chris a bunch and he's halarious. We have such a good time. He's a newer cashier and he's my age so he screws up alot. It's such a riot. The other day we opened and he turns to me and says, "Ok, as my bagger you have three duties. One: check the bottom of the cart. Seriously, don't forget to do that. Second: watch this pen. This is my pen. This isn't their pen it's mine. If anyone walks off with it I will be so pissed. Third: I can't remember that third thing but check the bottom of the cart. If I see someone walk away with something I didn't get I will throw something really heavy at your face." I died. He was so serious and intense. It was funny. And someone did walk away with his pen (I almost cried).

 So, being a senior is not nearly as exciting as I thought it would be. The crowds in the hallway don't part for me, the skany sophmores don't disappear at will, and the teachers still give a shit if I pay attention and/or act like the smartass that I am. Oh, and the school's entire male population did not all turn their heads and drop their jaws at my incredibly cute outfit on the first day of school mouthing "Damn..." to each other. Still, there are some perks. I got a parking spot, which is so exciting! I hate taking the bus more than you can even imagine so this will make my life so much better. I really like my English class, I literally know everyone. It's the entire group of honor's kids that has been together in class since eight grade. Literally, I think there's two kids in there who didn't go to middle school with me. I could sleep through Shakespeare and still pass. And I mean that literally. It's the easiest class I've ever been in, including health. I really love my teacher though. She even knows who David Tennant is! I was really excited to learn that. Choir should be interesting. It feels weird to be the oldest people in the room though. My gym teacher is omg!hot lol. Me and my friend Kinga fangirl over him every day. Latin is already casuing issues. I'm having a war with Kelsey over a seat. Childish? Definatly. Necessary? Oh yes. I refuse to put up with another year of her bitchiness. And Matt and I haven't gotten into one of our famour arguements yet. It's really weird. It's only been three days though, so there's time enough I guess. I don't know like anyone in my Cinema Studies class but I really like the teacher. He's really sarcastic and he said fuck to us twice on the first day. I'm so immature lol. I have Czworniak for Psychology and I love it. I love having her for a teacher. On Monday I walked in and she gave me a hug and everyone who had her last year was making inside jokes from that class all day. I actually felt bad for anyone who didn't have her last year. 

I had a meeting for work on Tuesday and it was the biggest bullshit in the world. My store director is a fucking dumass. It was like listening to Bush talk. "I don't want to be impolitically correct." (Wtf?) "Today we have so much communication. I think we have too much communication." ('Cause that makes sense) "today we have our computers and our gameboys" (Gameboys? Really?). I am so glad I got paid for that hour 'cause otherwise I would want that hour of my life back so bad. And it didn't help that I could turn my head and see Jason who also thought all this was ridiculously funny. So every time I turned my head I could see him trying not to crack up and would almost burst out laughing myself, which would be so not good. It was like they stuck everyone under the age of 25 who worked there in this room though. Mike, the cute cashier, was there in street clothes (btw, I am such a theatre geek lol) like me. He sat across the table from me and made faces at me the whole time. Most of the younger baggers and cashiers were there straight from school (like me). Sebastian the hottie didn't make an appearance unfortunately. 

I've been watching Takin' Over the Asylum all week and OMFG was DT cute when he was young. Sure he's sexy now but he was soooo cute then! I love it so much more than I should lol. He seems much more approchable and thus so much cuter in this. Maybe because he's so much clsoer to my age but still. You can't match the cuteness of a young David Tennant. Esepecially when he's being a brilliant actor at the same time as singing awesomly. Seriously, the boy has a voice on him! I don't know why he doesn't sing more. I just started episode three and love love love this series. 

Well, off to bed I go. I have to be at school at 7 (eeww).

The printing press. Easy. Without it we would still be stuck in the Drak Ages, quite literally. It revolutionized education, communication, and religion. It helped to spread ideas and created the print culture that led to today's "computer culture". It led to books, without which I would probably not be alive.