a_flame_within

They were told to explore, to ‘see things no human has seen before’. What they hadn’t been told is that there was a reason no human had seen these things before. There were some planets, some creatures, in the deepest part of space that humans were never meant to see. It was these things that haunted the crew of the Enterprise. There were moments when even the strongest member of the crew broke down. They clung to each other in desperation. No other human had seen or done the things they had. No other human could understand.

Spock began to initiate contact with Uhura when he saw she needed it. He would hold her tight as she slept, painfully aware of how close he had come to losing her so many times. Chekov would join Scotty in sharing a flask, passing it back and forth as he listed to the Scot ramble. Scotty needed to talk just as much as Chekov needed to listen. He needed to hear of distant times and places and imaginary equations. Anything to pretend he was still the naive Russian who had first joined Starfleet dreaming of adventure.

Kirk would wander into Bones’s quarters at random, as though they were back at Academy and it was still their room. Bones would complain and grumble but still move over and make room for his captain on the bed. Sometimes they would talk but most of the time Jim would just sleep, finally able to shake the nightmares away knowing that his best friend was there to protect him. McCoy had patched his friend up so many times he could no longer list them in his head. Every time he did his damndest to make sure that he would still be alive to flirt and laugh and be reckless and climb into his bed at night. He didn’t know what he would do if he ever failed. Jim being a pain in the ass was the only thing he needed to cope.

In the morning they would all be in position, appearing confident and eager. Kirk would sit in his captain’s chair looking as though he was born to be there. Spock would be calm and straight faced and logical to a tee. Uhura would be as competent and strong as ever. Bones would roll his eyes at them and yell when someone needed it. Chekov and Scotty would sink into their jobs with vigor each a part of the moment for every blasted second. At the end of the day, when they could no longer take it, their masks would slip and they’d cling desperately to each other. They’d cling on for dear life as they braced themselves for the darkest reaches of space, the darkest depths of themselves.

These are kind of random bits of dialouge that I haven't been able to fit into tis ridiculous story I've been writing for four months. I just thought I'd share them with someone. The same two people are talking in both of them, fyi.

I wanna go home. Yes, that sounds whiny but it's true. I'm with my dad all week because my aunt is in from AZ and I'm sick of it! Don't get me wrong, I love my dad and my dogs and my aunt but I miss the comforts of my mom's house. I miss being home alone for twelve hours a day, I miss being within walking distance of friends' houses, I miss having a custom homepage with all my links on it and I miss being able to set my background for the computer. Most of all, though, I miss my car. it's not a nice car by any means, it's a used green minivan with no A/C. But it runs and I can drive it places and I'm not stuck at the mercy of my dad and my step-mom who apperently think that having a driver's liscence means absolutely nothing. Seriously, they laugh in my face everytime I offer to drive. I hate that I can't just go and drive somewhere whever I feel like it. My mom's house is a completely different enviroment and I'm not adapting welluch more laid back and open. Here, we have three large dogs and an alarm system. There, I leave the screen door open and unlocked all night without fear. Here, I have to ask to use the somputer and then wait while my dad puts in the password. There, I actually own the computer. I can't even sing here. I have a bad habit of bursting into song all the time randomly. It's somthing I do. My whole family on my mom's side sings so it's nothing weird for any of them. Here, I can't even hum. My step-mom actually yells at me for it. I'll sing something without thinking realising it and she'll yell at me. So, I'll hum and she'll yell my name and give me a "STFU" look.  Not fun.  

 /rant. 

Sorry about that. I'm just irratated. I actually miss my mom, and I never miss my mom. Never. I have to be gone for a really long time to even feel a twinge. I just feel so suppressed here. And I've been here since Saturday. I even spent all of Monday on the South Side. I slept over at Hannah's house and had a blast. We're such dorks, I love it. We stayed up late having all sorts of fun Doctor Who talk and taking waay too many pictures with her sonic screwdriver. It's kind of pathetic lol. I had such a good time, though. It's been a long time since I've had that much fun at a sleepover. I feel like I really got to know Hannah better. I stayed at her house until she had to go to work at 1:30 the next day. Then I walked part of the way with her before parting and heading for the nearest Starbucks, which was convienently located a block from the nearest train station.

 I caught a train back here and have been here ever since. I was kind of mad though. When I headed out to the South Side that day with my dad I hadn't intended to stay the night or anything. So, I didn't bring my ipod. Stupid move. I didn't even have a book with me for the hour long train ride out here. Thankfully, Hannah lent me a book I've been wanting to read for a long time. My sister got a tattoo that day. It's a honeysuckle on her back, right behind her left shoudler witht he word forever under it. Her friend Justin got forever on his leg at the same time. It's a friendship thing, apperently. I was talking to  my mom about it and she goes "It's a bit redundant. I mean, a tattoo lasts forver and she got forver tattooed on her?" I was dying. It's stupid little jokes like that that make me miss my mom. My dad's little jokes are less funny, more immature. I dunno. 

In other news, I've become one of those horrible people who are addicted to Twilight. I know, I know. It's horrible. It's not even that good! It's written really badly, the main character annoys the crap outta me, and it's reminiscient of  a bad fanfic. But it's so good! It sucks you in and makes you addicted. I started the second book this morning and read all 570 pages by 7 pm with alot of breaks. Yeah, it's bad. 

My hands are really cold (it's always freezing in this house. It's almost 80 degrees F and I'm in jeans and a hoodie) so I think I'll stop for now. To everyone who read all this, thank you.  I know I'm a whiny teenage girl butI have to vent sometimes.

( Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang (and the preview clip after it) )
m

I don't hae school today so I thought I'd sleep in, maybe see a movie later. Nope, no dice. I was woken up this morning with a screaming phone call from my mother telling me I have to go get a job. When exactly she thinks I have time to work is beyond me. Tomorrow and Wednesday I have two different auditions for two different shows. Between rehearsals and the homework from my three AP courses I don't know when I'm going to have time to sleep, let alone have a job. I'd need a time turner to get everything done.

So, f-listies, any advice/condolence/pretty pictures of pretty people/comments? Things like that always make my day

Title: Jealousy
Author: </a>
Rating: PG
Character: LG, JA
Warnings/Spoilers: It's not real, I'm just daydreaming. If it's not your thing no big deal.
Authors Note: Just a litte RP drabble I found hinding on my hard drive. Sammy is the name I'm giving to that model Jonas dated last year.
Summary: Lucy isn't jealous. Of course not.

"You know, if you glare just a bit harder her head might actually explode."

Lucy blinked, shaking her head like she was trying to clear something out of it, "What? I wasn’t glaring. I think Sammy is a wonderful woman."

Anjali smirked, "Even when she’s playing footsie with your Robin?" Lucy’s head shot up and turned rapidly towards where Jonas and Sammy where sitting across the room, "What? No she’s not."

Anjali’s smirk became a full blown grin as she said "Right, because Jonas isn’t your Robin, is he?" before getting up and joining Joe at the bar. Lucy sat there, flabbergasted, her mouth open for a few seconds before smiling to herself. Of course he was her Robin. Who’s else would he be? Certaintly not Sammy's. As if. 

Lucy almost dropped her drink as she realised what she had just thought.  She could see Anjali laughing at the bar. She felt her cheeks turn red and looked the other way. Jonas looked over at her and winked.

Oh shit.